Y’all know how much we’ve needed rain here. We’ve been living in a dust bowl for years now. And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, because we’re not, but still – couldn’t the biggest on again/off again rainstorm in eons have planned itself around the holidays? Oh well, we may be bitching, but we’re still grateful.
No one was accustomed to rain in LA before this horrific drought – but now? Forget about it. I grew up on the Gulf Coast where it rains EVERY SINGLE DAY in August. I actually got depressed when I first moved here, letting up the blinds every frigging morning to find nothing but yet another Godforsaken sunny day.
But these are the things I’ve heard over the past few days around Southern California, and I’m not even kidding. I guess the rain on top of the Omicron is making folks every crazier:
“Let’s just wait in the car until it stops sprinkling.”
“I had an appointment to have a permanent crown put in, but it’s supposed to rain really hard so I’m just gonna postpone it.”
“I left my keys in the car. I hate to go back out there in this drizzle. Think they’ll be okay?”
“Omigod I forgot my umbrella. Omigod omigod omigod.”
“I know this sounds crazy, but I forgot the ingredients for my stuffing. And now it’s raining. Is it crazy if I just forget about it?”
“I just hope it doesn’t rain on Christmas Day. If it does I hope they just cancel the whole thing.”
“It’s raining. YET AGAIN. OH. MY. GOD.”
This one from our local TV news: “Los Angeles now under siege with a BLITZKRIEG of a storm.” Really LA news? A nutball German word no one’s even used since World War II??
And this one, I admit it, from even my own house after coming in from said Blitzkrieg:“Um – I don’t even know what we should do with all our wet stuff. What about our shoes – and our jackets?? Should we – maybe we – could we—”
Where I grew up it rained so hard you had to pull over and wait half an hour so you could see, even with the wipers on high. These people out here would die. Seriously. They would die.
Happy Christmas everyone. Stay dry. And if you can’t, then, well – OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD I hope you live to tell about it.